Yesterday, for some strange, unknown reason, I found myself reading an article on the joys of frog hunting.
Hunting, of any sort, just isn't my thing. I'm not against is by any stretch of the imagination. You want to go hunting something, have fun. I just don't consider the actual activity of hunting to be all that fun. Getting up early, going out when it's still freezing cold out, having to stay still for hours and hours waiting for the random chance to shoot something, the whole while covered in deer pee, and fearing a possible attack by a member of the executive branch.
Now, I don't want to squash anyone's fondest childhood memories, but something in the frog gigging article made me question the writer's life choices.
"Nothing is more fun than trudging around the banks of your local pond with flashlight in one hand and gig in the other, searching for the iridescent pink reflection of frog eyes."
Without even thinking I can come up with 10 things more fun that trudging around the banks of my local pond with a flashlight in one hand and a gig in the other.
1. Killing the person who convinced me to go frog gigging.
2. Playing with boobies.
3. A four hour DPR session.
4. Watching Firefly.
5. Playing Civilization 4.
6. Listening to Psychostick.
7. Going shopping with Mrs. SFC B.
8. Proctoring a SASVAB.
9. Visiting a hospital.
10. Walking through a cemetary at night.
I would rather do any of those things than hunt a frog. Some I'd choose to do over others, but all 10 are a better fate than spearing Kermit.
I do hope that the writer doesn't read this. I fear that seeing his happiest moment ever lampooned in such a way will send him over the edge. And a man who was so abused as a child that hunting frogs with a stick rates as A Number One Fun is not a man who society needs going over the edge. He'd probably go to the top of a bell tower and try to snipe people with a gigging stick. Hummmmm...
11. Watching a man try to kill people from the top of a bell tower with a frog gigging stick.