Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Maybe this is a skill?

Okay... for the past two plus calendar months I have been the World's Worst Recruiter. During this time of humiliating failure I've managed to have every single prospect or applicant fail to come through for me for a variety of reasons. Inability to hear, open law violations, apathy, etc, etc.

Mr. Robb is the latest victim of my power. He is hot to join the Army. He wants in badly. Two weeks ago he was scheduled to test. He didn't show up because his baby's momma had to work late and he had to watch their child (A very darling daughter by the way who's art adorns my desk at the moment). Okay. Fine. Understood. He had his kid unexpectedly now and couldn't test two weeks ago. He couldn't test last week because of his employer and the long weekend took Friday which was when he could test. So he tested yesterday. 75, yay! He committed a serious offense when he was 18 so I need to do a waiver on him anyway. Ive gotten all of the checks and documents and the waiver just needs to go downtown with him when he takes the physical. Last night we agreed he'd take the physical Thursday. There was a good chance I could get him phys'd and the waiver back in time for him to join on Mission Monday.

About 30 minute after I completed the project his number comes up on my cell. Ruh-roh Raggy. Mr Robb's grandmother had died while he was taking the test. Because of the need to get the physical completed so the waiver can be done I do ask if it's possible he can still get the phys done before he leaves for the services. Nope. He flew out early this morning and won't be back until Sunday. I'm truly sorry for his loss. I'm not so mission-focused or heartless to know that there are more important things out there than joining the Army. My SC felt the same way when I called him, and luckily Mr. Mayer is supposed to get a hearing test done that may allow him to join if he passes. But it's a medical waiver and who knows if that will get approved.

Anyway. My evil powers of Enlistment Prevention have now grown a dark new edge. I can kill people. At this rate it's only a matter of time before I'm wearing a cape, a mask, and my underwear on the outside of my tights as I hold the city hostage. I imagine my supervillan costume will look like this.

Evil.

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