Thursday, October 20, 2005

The Horror

Humanity is doomed.

I was looking at the top downloads on iTunes today and I realized that My Hump by the Black Eyes Peas was number 3.

Number 3.

The third most popular download.

It is the stupidest song ever.

Listening to it lowers your IQ by 5 points.

The first time I'd heard it I forgot how to calculate batting average.

There is no way for me to overstate just how innane the song is. But let me try.

It is a 4 minute song where "Fergie", the hot chick in the group, sings about her butt and breasts for 3:30 of the song. I'm all for songs glorifying Fergie's butt and boobs. I'm a guy. But she does not do so by referring to them as "butt" or "breasts". Or any of the other many ways to refer to those parts of a woman's anatomy. Instead she refers to them as... her hump... and her lumps.

When I first realized that I was equal parts horrified, distainful, and depressed, with a little bit of amusement thrown in.

It is a simply stupid song. It repeats "My hump, my hump my hump my hump my hump, my lovely lady lumps, in the back and in the front," over and over and over again. Just writing that made me forget how to drive a standard.

Ugh... if that is actually a popular song humanity is doomed.

I'm feeling old.


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