Thursday, January 26, 2006


I despise spam. The email, I actually like the taste of the quasi-meat. If I was promoted from Ruler of all Recruiters... in my station to Ruler of Everything I'd probably spend my first day in power creating new and clever ways to shuffle spammer off this mortal coil. Well, I'd actually spend my first day in power doing a dance of joy, followed by much debauchery with Queen Mrs. SFC B. But I digress

My second day in power is when I'd take care of the nasty spammer problem. After they were gone I'd move on to consolidating my power, eliminating my enemies, and pursuing the Super Weapon that all evil tyrants require. I found this to be a very useful resource. I'm digressing again.

In the spirit of being helpful I'd like to offer this advice to spammers. STOP IT BEFORE I KILL YOU ALLLLLLLLLL!!!! That and, if you're going to send someone spam, don't have it insult them. Today I received an email who's subject was, and I'm quoting here, "Upset bcoz of ur short dick? Longer 2" with this." I don't care if it's the greatest product ever. I don't care if it makes my hair fuller, my teeth whiter, cures cancer, and leads to the saying "Wow, that horse is hung like SFC B" I have a very strict policy about using or buying products that insult me. Anyway, consider this my little bit of friendly advice to those in the spam business. Just because your lives are shallow, purposeless things, and you're hated by your own mother doesn't mean that you should try and make yourself feel better by insulting people who you've never met and who are already bitter you found their email address.


Post a Comment