Saturday, September 30, 2006

Nothing more than feelings

Darth Commando was talking with me tonight, explaining to me how to best torture jawas, when the topic of baseball came up. Darth Commando had obviously been enjoying some peyote because he was telling me how the Royals were going to win the World Series next season. I didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. That and I was afraid he'd force choke me through my DSL line. I really should get dial-up when chatting with him. The slower connection speeds means it takes 75% longer for him to apply a good force choke.

Anyways, topic of the Braves comes up and, well, my dislike of the Braves is pretty intense. It's been that way since about 1997. When asked what three things I hate the most in the world I list Nazis, child molesters, and the Braves. Not always in that order. Words don't exist to describe my hatred of the Braves. I'm pretty sure that all members of the Braves have had sex with the Devil. They are evil. Pure, unadulterated evil. There is nothing good left in them. Their souls have been replaced by a wound straight from Hell. Blood does not flow in their veins, instead a thick, viscous, oil-like ichor sustains their unlife. They are a drain on the universe. While the Braves exist there can be no true happiness in the world. Just a vague simulacrum of joy that hides the ugly of the Braves behind a veil. The Braves are so vile that Jane Fonda sought out their owner so she wouldn't seem so scummy by comparison. It didn't work though.

Anyways... tomorrow is the day. Either the season ends or it doesn't. We'll see.


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